 Most
of us live in a basic state of mindlessness. When we
live mindlessly it means we simply function. We exist
rather than live - like we’re on “autopilot”
and therefore not really conscious of what we are doing.
We are not taking responsibility for our actions, reactions,
or behaviors. Despite this gray state of existence,
we’re surrounded by choices at every moment, each
an opportunity for change, each an opportunity to live
mindfully.
But we don’t take these opportunities. We are
not free enough to make these choices nor are we trained
in how to make them. Once we can make one choice, it
leads to other choices. Choices indicate movement rather
than stagnation. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not
like any of the choices that are available; we resentfully
say that there is no choice when what we mean is that
we see no good choice. Many times, we have made a choice
and don’t think about the fact that we have eliminated
other possibilities.
Part of the Art of Choice is accepting the
realities that exist in the moment. Even if we do nothing,
it’s important to realize that choosing to do
nothing is in itself a choice. Once we do that, we can
move out of the mire in which we find ourselves, and
even create future possibilities that didn’t previously
exist.
 Why
would old emotional patterns prevent us from thinking
clearly?
As children we only experience the world;
we do not have the ability to analyze. So, if something
doesn’t feel right, we remember the situation
and the negative feelings. Later in life, if a situation
arises that makes us feel the same or similar, our old
feelings act like a filtering system and we react as
if it is the same situation — never thinking it
through. When emotions are aroused we’re biologically
wired to respond for survival - so much so that emotions
win out over rational thought.
When we see things similar to our old experiences,
our subconscious minds tap into old emotions that aren’t
accurate, or relevant to the situation at hand. This
drains our energy and produces behavior that’s
inappropriate and out of sync with the choices that
we have rationally chosen to make for ourselves. If
we don’t realize that we behave and function based
on these emotional errors, misunderstandings compile
and can get in the way of healthy relationships.
Understanding how our brains are wired is the first
step to altering this unconscious behavior. Once we
acknowledge that there are irrational forces at play
in our minds, we can decide to make a change. By learning
to observe ourselves and question our automatic reactions,
there is a window of opportunity to make changes.
Changes can only take place if we are willing to make
the necessary choices. In the Art of Choice
series, Dr. Sherman guides her clients through the complexities
of their own decision-making process. She walks us through
the unconscious choices that have paved groundwork for
our current behaviors, and through the decisions that
we want to make for the future, in order to exact the
changes that we want and deserve in our lives.
Home
| Art of Choice Explained
| About Dr. Karen Sherman |
Relationships of Choice
| Seminars & Workshops
| Products | Calendar
| Frequently Asked Questions |
Contact
© Dr. Karen Sherman, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
|
