The Choice to Create a New Beginning

There's an expression that says something about not reinventing the wheel -- just making a better version of it. Well, I think the same goes for you and your relationships. Let's break it down.

Who you are in your essence is fine. Likely, somewhere along the line, you've gotten hurt and wounded and, therefore, you've put up all sorts of walls and defenses. But these are only protections. You can take them down! Sure, it takes work and you may stumble and have to try again; but if you can remember that the basic you is good and loving, it will help you in your journey.

Regarding your relationship with others: it's merely two people who are each trying to know that they matter to the other -- that the other person is acknowledging the good in you. Of course, it does get complicated because each one has those walls around them. And, unfortunately, those walls often distort the way you perceive your partner resulting in not getting the very love you want most.

1. Sit with yourself quietly and allow yourself to acknowledge the good person within you. Most likely, you will hear automatic thoughts that contradict this. Just ignore them and continue to know that your essence is good. Consider doing this exercise daily.
2. Accept all parts of you -- even the parts you don't like. Don't push them away but be grateful for them because they are there to protect you.
3. Think about behaviors you do that really are protective (negative ones) like overeating or smoking or being short with others. First, forgive yourself for doing this behavior. Choose one behavior to change -- the easiest one first. In order to make the change you have to be aware of it and make a conscious effort to do something differently. Expect that it will take a while to change and there will be slips. Feel good about yourself as you make progress.
4. Know that as you feel good about yourself, you will put out a more positive energy that others will respond to positively. Create a "new beginning!"
5. When you are involved with others -- whether it be a relationship, a friend, a co-worker, or a family member -- remember that they have their walls, too. So when they are not acting nicely, chances are something is getting in the way for them. However, if you can act kind and loving to them, there's a much better chance they will respond back in a similar manner.
6. A relationship is dynamic; it has its ups and downs. There will be times you will very much love the very same person you couldn't stand a week ago. Know that this happens.
7. Most importantly, be aware that at any given moment, you can create what amounts to a "new beginning" by how you choose to act to this person. These moments are always available whenever you choose to take them, to make them.

This video is VERY helpful because it shows how you can make one tiny (sometimes effortless) shift in your thinking, actions, or physiology that can end up giving you massive long term results.

Click here for Video

This is a video that was sent to me. I could add it in just about any newsletter, but it seemed to really fit in this month's theme. I'd say it's inspirational about life: Click here: Take time to Live!

And given that I love Spring, here's something for you to enjoy!

Want to really have the opportunity to have a new beginning to your life? You don't have to be a prisoner to your past! Sure you learned lots of survival tools when you were a kid but chances are they don't serve you now but stand in the way of getting the life you deserve. You don't have to keep reacting in a knee-jerk way. Check out the tools in my award-winning book, "Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life"

By the way, I recently was a guest on the Judith West cable TV show, "Getting Your Money's Worth."
If you'd like to watch it, here's the clip.

And, of course, if your relationship has gone stale and it needs an uplift, there's hope! Make sure you look at "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last" where you'll learn lots and lots of tools to revitalize your partnership and create what seems like new beginnings! Find out more about this book.

AND - IT'S COMING SOON - KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THAT EXTRA SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

For Ladies Only: Watch for an e-mail coming your way for a very special offer I'm going to make to you. And for the Guys: If there's a special lady you're involved with, you'll want to open the email and forward it to her. This is something that I know will change your relationship around!

AND, AND ... Watch for email with details of radio show that Dr. Karen will be doing with Robin Hardy on Monday, May 11 at 11:00PT, 2:00ET. Call-ins are invited! You can also catch the show at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/Robin-Hardy