My Personal Insights:
July is a special month for me because it is my birthday month. Birthdays have always meant a lot in our family - we make a really big deal about them. Our birthday becomes like a personal holiday. Usually we don't work, we do frivolous things out of total enjoyment, and certainly at least one, if not two, pleasurable meals is included in the day. Though this wasn't a milestone birthday for me, I must say how very special I felt since all those who were important to me did remember the date and sent cards with beautiful sentiments.
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Give the Gift of You
I was at a conference this month and a leading relationship expert happened to mention that birthdays are important because they let the person know that he or she matters. It's a day where a person's existence is acknowledged. The truth, of course, is that knowing you matter is at the very core of what each person needs. And so, when you are in a relationship -- whether it is a romantic one or some other type -- what will make it run smoothly is if each of you feels valued. Now you can wait to receive that awareness from the other person before you extend a sense of worthiness to him or her -- or -- you can initiate it. Yes, it's a bit more risky, but also likely to get the ball rolling. It's your choice!
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Choice Tips:
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- Trust that when you initiate and give, it is very likely that you will receive in kind.
- If you do not receive back your graciousness, consider that, sadly, the person you have given to is in a very bad place and just not able to reciprocate at this time. It does not mean that your good intentions have been lost.
- Do not give with a scorecard. Give lovingly and freely. Truly the expression that "what goes around comes around" is accurate. You just may not see the results immediately.
- Giving does not necessarily have to cost money. Many of the most meaningful gifts are those that are gestures or words.
- Try to be aware of the manner in which your partner wants to be given to. Different people have different needs. Giving can be done with words, acts of kindness, physicality, or small presents. If you give in a way that pleases you but not the other person, it will not really resonate for him or her.
- Special gender tips: Ladies - offer your guy simple pleasures like a backrub or home cooked meal to shift him out of his grumpiness rather than get him to talk. Also don't forget to give him lots of praise to boost his ego and motivate him to do more. Guys - Sure you work hard to support the "fam," but most women really respond to having lots of little things done. One rose is as good as a dozen!
- Don't wait for a birthday to let people who are important to you know that they matter.
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Additional Resources I Recommend:
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"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
~Jean Anouilh Ardele
Since I believe humor is so important for dealing with life, a cute quote I came across:
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once --
~Anonymous
Here's a gift for you but make sure you watch till the end so you'll see why I decided to include it this month: http://www.thejoymovie.com
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Empowering Tools and Information:
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Since July is my birthday month and I truly believe that giving and sharing will make the world a better place, I'd like to offer all of you a gift.
For the next month, buy any one of my products that you can find on my websites, www.ChoiceRelationships.com or www.drkarensherman.com and you'll receive a
20% discount.
Just buy the product and put "B-DAY" (without quotes in all caps) in the coupon box and press apply at the checkout process and get your gift. It's that simple -- great info that you order directly from me for the next month at a reduced fee.
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